Movie Night

Well, I had a movie night last night. After i got home from the big family Christmas get-together I put on two of the movies I received: Terminator: Salvation and Star Trek. Here are my thoughts on these films:

Terminator: Salvation

Not the best movie I have ever seen and not the worst by far. Some die-hard Terminator fans would have you believe the movie was worse than having a root canal performed by an elephant. It actually does a pretty good job taking the Terminator franchise out of the "let's run from disguised robots" theme and putting it squarely into the future war scenes we all liked in the original films. I've heard a lot of complaints that this movie doesn't match the look of the future war scenes in the older films, and these complaints are correct-- but this movie is set in the earlier days of the war with the machines and the machines haven't stepped up their game yet. There were some pretty good performances in the movie, and it seemed everyone took their roles seriously. One stand-out performance surprised me; Anton Yelchin in the role of a very young Kyle Reese really made me smile quite a few times in the film. His voice and mannerisms matched Michael Biehn's pretty darn well. I had heard some bad rumors about the ending of the movie, but I'm pleased to say that the rumors were false-- the ending kinda shocked me, but eventually unfolded in a satisfying (although predictable) manner. I'm glad I own it. Now... when Warner Brothers decides to quit being buttholes and release the extended cut on DVD instead of keeping it a Blu Ray exclusive, I'll be extra impressed with the film.

Star Trek

I wanted to hate this movie. Everything about it rubs me the wrong way. I hate remakes. I hate cocky characters. I hate directors who have little respect for a property they are handling-- but once the movie started I was glued to the screen. It is a spectacle... but it's more than that; it's a really darn good movie. It's a little too convenient at times; certain characters happen to meet up at improbable times way too often in the movie. However, I just looked past that because the movie has the same kind of heart that the original series had. They managed to create a Kirk and Spock that you could actually enjoy (even if you do want to beat the snot out of Spock throughout most of the film). The special effects were top-notch, but they really weren't overdone. The fan-references were pretty nicely done-- not the smack-you-over-the-head-with-it type of references in the Star Wars prequels. This was done pretty subtly, and I imagine people will be finding hidden fan-stuff in this film for some time to come. I'm glad this film came along... it made me eat my own words, but I got to enjoy a really, really good movie in the process.

Ho Ho HOH CRAP! Christmas is almost here!!!

Well, I finished up my latest batch of commissions just in time to get ready for Christmas. I haven't done one bit of shopping, and I'm just getting my ornaments underway. I'm trying to tidy up the place because we have company coming.

IFC again. Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer tonight. Why do I watch these things, again? This one at least had an ending. I saw it coming a mile away, but yeah. Better than the dude staring into a vent. Henry is actually a pretty good movie; disturbing and depressing but ultimately honest and well-done. The movie's pretty low-budget, but the director did a great job with what was available. The scene where Henry is cutting up a body had unbelievably realistic sound effects-- having helped my dad clean countless deer I'm quite familiar with the sounds that go along with the process. I was quite impressed.

The October Toys Forum members seemed quite receptive of my Kawaiiju designs, which is a really good thing. I hope this is going to be a fun project! I had a minor brainstorm as I drove to town to mail packages today... something extra to add to the fun of the Kawaiiju packaging!

Here's the sketch I posted on the forum of ideas I had for possible figurines:

He say you Brade Runnah!

Just finished up a new figure. Rick Deckard from Blade Runner:



Click the pic to see the auction and more pictures.

20 Steps to Improve Star Trek

I have yet to see the Star Trek movie that came out earlier this year. I guess I will when it hits DVD. I was going through some old text files tonight and ran across this conversation I had with Doug on AIM. I figured I'd share it:

Doug: I've got some ideas that'll change the star trek universe forever...

Me: oh?

Me: lemme guess.... better stories?

Doug: #1 How about don't put anything explosive in control panels

Me: ha ha ha ha ha

Doug: #2 Seatbelts

Me: ha ha ha ha

Doug: already, right there we've cut 3/4th of the deaths on the show

Me: #3: NO MORE RED SHIRTS

Doug: #4 If you going to war, wear armor. I know you're really proud of your pajamas and all, but this is the friggin future. You can carry more tech than a pin on you shirt and a fancy calculator

Doug: I mean it's good enough for the klingons right?

Me: #5 it's ok every once in a while for the aliens to not look like people

Doug: but not ok for the budget

Doug: they have to spend like 20 dollars for a make up guy for another hour

Doug: I mean thats crazy

Me: yup

Me: oh look.... i'm clearly an alien... i have a bump on my nose

Doug: #6 You have transporters...theres no need to go runnin the endless halls of your ship when someone isn't suppose to be there

Me: NO CRAP

Doug: #7 Again future, ever hear of automated defenses...I mean they have solid Holograms that can create and shoot guns and lasers, how about use those sometime

Me: #8 it's not necessary to sleep with everyone you meet if you are a captain

Doug: actually, I think that's in the contract

Me: maybe so

Doug: #9 enough with the time travel, we stopped friggin caring when kirk went to fetch whales

Me: #10 whales taste GREAT

Doug: we don't want to watch people in modern times, otherwise we'd be watching WB

Me: ugh

Me: no crap

Me: and NO ONE watches that

Doug: heheh

Doug: nope

Me: #11 MORE GORN

Doug: always

Me: and this time, for god's sake put him under a sun lamp so he can at least move a bit faster

Doug: #12 The Holodek...WILL BREAK

Doug: Historical figures will always turn evil and try to kill you

Me: excuse me... were you suggesting we should break Will Crusher?

Me: because that's a good suggestion

Me: or maybe you were suggesting that in the holodeck Will becomes mutated like the Hulk and breaks things saying "WILL BREAK!"

Me: either way... we're good with that

Doug: #13 You know, evasive manuevers should mean a little more than sitting in place and firing

Doug: #14 Its space, not all the ships you meet will be right side up, also space is in three dimensions, you can go around things

Me: #15 more borg, less ferangi

Doug: #16 We have guided missiles now, so why can't their torpedos do anything other than go in a straight line?

Me: #17 next time you find people frozen in an ancient ship.... LEAVE THEM FROZEN

Doug: #18 Stop naming every planet the same name as the people...humans, from humanlon, from the human home world

Me: ha ha ha

Me: yep

Me: #19 more half-nekkid green chicks

Doug: #20 Would someone for once go outside the ship and give it a new paint job when "repairs are underway?" since when can you fix everything about you car by messing with the radio control panel?

Doug: ok, thats it for me, all that from just having seen one episode.....

I think everyone will agree that Doug and I clearly should have been top choices for the creative team to make a better Trek movie. CLEARLY.

Slice like a ninja

I'm going to ramble a bit, but I promise there's a point to this madness. If you don't feel like reading me gripe about comics, movies, and other things, skip on down to the toy review.

During the Christmas season of 2004 I worked at the Toys R Us on Harbison Boulevard in Columbia, SC. One day after work I drove over to Heroes and Dragons, a pretty awesome comic book and toy shop in the area. They were having a sale on their backissues for $1 a piece. Buck comics rate pretty highly with me. I completed a lot of runs of books and started collections of others that I still haven't finished-- I don't like to spend much money (anyone who knows me will attest to this fact), and finding comics for a buck is rare anymore.

One of the series that I started collecting on a whim was G.I. JOE: Reloaded from Devil's Due Press(DDP).



G.I. JOE: Reloaded was an experiment in gritty military fiction written by a guy who knows about as much about the military as I know about nuclear physics. John Ney Rieber started writing the series, but was clearly... distracted. The individual plot lines were very clouded, his artistic direction to the various artists of dissonant talents was confusing, and the overall direction of the series was just poorly planned. Then... suddenly... in the middle of a story arch... Rieber decided that he was a pacifist and would never write a military comic book again (he's been writing military books ever since then, so go figure). Thanks, John! I read several of the books you wrote for DDP, and I am certainly glad you stopped writing when you did. Transformers/G. I. JOE? EUGH. EEEUUUUUGH! What a miserably confusing clusterpuke of a comic book.

Around issue # 9 of Reloaded it was announced that Chuck Dixon would take over the book. Dixon attempted to pull the book up from the nose dive it had been put into, but it was too late. The title lasted 'til issue 14, which was wrapped up about as quickly and clean as could be managed with the short timeframe. It was really depressing to see the book plummet, head back up, then get cut off just as it was gaining ground.

Now, I say all this to make a point. I started collecting the book from the starting block... I was there for the issue before the first issue that kicked the whole thing off. I collected it past the $1 sales stuff and into the "3 bucks-an-issue" territory and even into the "let's-pay-8 bucks-for-rare-backissues-online" territory. The series was bad. No... BAD. Horrible. Terrible. Gag-inducing. But I kept coming back for more. Why? Well... it's as simple as one character: Snake Eyes. Rieber took an interesting route with the silent ninja/commando: he was freaking nuts. It was never revealed what did it, but something in Snake Eyes' past had driven him quite beyond the point of sanity. He had become a killing machine, pure and simple. Emotionless, cold, deadly. It was suggested (somewhere in the senseless babble that Rieber chose to call a comic book script) that Snake Eyes had worked for Cobra Commander at some point. He had decided, for some unknown reason, to be a good guy, but he sure didn't work like a good guy. He was a shark trapped in a man's body. Rieber has said that his favorite character to write was Snake Eyes, and it shows.

I say all this to make a point. I promise I'll get there in a minute.

When Reloaded was shelved, I was pretty sad, because no other book or cartoon had characterized Snake Eyes quite like that book had.

Then... I saw this:



Whaaaaa? Bloodthirsty, butt-kicking, killing-machine Snake Eyes? How dare they????

G. I. JOE: Resolute was an 11 episode mini-series that aired in 5 minute installments on Cartoon Network. It was written by Warren Ellis, an actually talented (GASP!) comic book writer. It kicked all kinds of butt all night long, Sweet Suzie. I could go on and on about it, but let's just say that Snake Eyes was the main reason almost everyone watched the thing. He did NOT disappoint. He was a brutally efficient killer, and he showed almost no emotions doing the dirty work he did. He had a driving force behind his violence, but there was no super-well-defined origin for it. They showed his youth in training with the Arashikage ninja clan briefly, but never went into anything else.



I then heard there was going to be an action figure line... YEAH-YUH!

Then I heard the Resolute figure line had been cancelled due to Hasbro's promotion of the live action movie. I will not get into the many ways and reasons for my hatred for that movie, but let's just say that killing the Resolute line did NOT help things.

But... BUUUUUUUUT... there was a bright shining star in the field of turds that fell out of that movie (the action figure line from the movie is actually a really, really, REALLY nice toy line-- I just hate the movie): They were going to release the Resolute Snake Eyes in the movie series! Oh yes. OH... YES...!

Well... I found him tonight. I now hold in my hands little Mr. Slashy McStabbington himself!

How is the figure? Read on:


Packaging:



One thing I can say about the G I JOE movie line packaging is that it is very pretty. No different here. The figure and accessories are showcased quite well, and there is tha standard JOE filecard on the back. One thing that really made me smile is that they didn't even bother trying to make the character picture on the card look like the movie character. This is a totally different kind of character, and he deserves to be spotlighted as such. It's really weird seeing the Resolute Snake Eyes in the movie line, but I'm happy as a hog in crap to have him.


Sculpt, articulation, and paint:





Simply beautiful. The guy is ripped, but lean enough to look like he's capable of killing ten men in ten seconds. He has some nice gear sculpted on his belts and the cartoon's aesthetics are translated into 3D quite well.

He's articulated out the wazoo, much like all the figures in the 25th Anniversary and movie lines. He has what appears to be 22 points of articulation. Not too shabby for a 3.75 inch tall figure. All of his joints are really well made and durable. His ankles are VERY tight, and I've been having to deal with getting them just right to keep him standing. I'm sure it has more to do with the newness of the figure to me than the actual articulation. I'm still learning how to best pose him for stances. Each figure has its own little quirks, so I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt here.

The paint is just fine as well. Little to no slop and clean lines. Mostly he's molded in plastic that matches the color of the character, so that cuts down on paint wear and excess paint applications. I'm usually not find of gray Snake Eyes figures, but there's something about this one that just works. It matches the look of the character in the cartoon, so I'm very happy.

Accessories


One thing that can be said about the movie line: they come with a LOT of stuff. Each figure I've purchased from the movie line for custom fodder has come with a crapload of accessories-- way more than any of the 25th Anniversary line came with and way more than you get with almost any other figure of similar scale. Snake Eyes here comes with 11 accessories:

1 backpack
1 climbing harness
1 sword
1 sword sheathe
2 assault rifles
1 pistol
1 knife
2 ice boots
1 stand

The climbing harness is kinda junky and unneccesary. However, it is well-sculpted and I'm sure kids will love it.
All of the accessories fit his hands perfectly, and the sword fits nicely in its sheathe. One really nice feature is the fact that the sheathe REALLY attaches to the belt... I mean I had to pry that sucker out after I put it on. I think it's going to stay there from now on-- but it's nice to have an accessory actually stay put on a figure for a change.

One annoying thing about the accessories is that there aren't really any places to store them on the figure. It's not a huge issue, but if a figure is going to come with 5,000 guns and sharp things it helps for him to carry them on his person. It doesn't really matter... his sword is on his back and he can double grip his rifle, so I'm good.




I guess I've talked enough. I'll let the pictures do the talking for me:









City Strike Snake Eyes is a REALLY nice figure with a load of articulation and accessories. Kids should dig him and adults should adore him. He's easily the coolest Snake Eyes figure I've ever owned.

Freddy's back...

Just saw these pics online... thought I'd share:



That's the first official pic from the remake/sequel/whatever Nightmare on Elm Street movie coming out next year.

Freddy's being played by Jackie Earle Haley, a guy who looks suitably creepy for the part:



He's the guy who played Rorschach in The Watchmen. Yeah... that movie sucked and Rorschach sucked even more, but Haley's a pretty darn good actor who can carry creepy quite well.

Here's the poster for the movie:



Looks slick. It's nice to see the look is pretty much dead-on so far. Remakes usually make me gag, but the Friday the 13th remake was enjoyable enough, and hopefully this one will be as well.

Time will tell!

I'm sorry...

... but it just doesn't get any better than this:



Bask in the glory of this... thing...

My Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen Movie Review

I am so torn about this movie. So very, very torn.

At the core of this film is a story that is 100 times better than the first film.

We have high science fiction dealing with the planet destroyer concept and development of the Transformers to a much larger degree than the first go-round. It is Optimus Prime's finest hour and the Autobot's darkest day. It is a tale of responsibility, sacrifice, and redemption.

...and then... there's this:



Yes... that is a tiny robot humping a girl's leg. Yes... that's as sophisticated and subtle as the humor gets in this movie. The crass, inappropriate humor does less to make the audience laugh and does more to take you right out of the movie-going experience.

Unless you are a mouth-breathing cretin you WILL hate the following things:

Sam's mom's pot induced hysteria

the overt sexualization of the female characters (look-- I know they are as hot and/or fake as a flea market rolex, but it really bothers me seeing this in a movie marketed towards kids)

any scene with John Turturro... especially the thong scene... ugh

Pottymouth Metalpants-- I mean Wheelie. He's a character made pretty much for kids to adore and he calls Mikaela a "crazy b***h" and then humps her leg FOR NO GOOD REASON AT ALL.

Sam's roommate Leo. Funny for about 3 minutes... then he got real old, real fast.

Robot Farts

Robot Penis Guns

And finally... two words that really need no explanaition:

THE TWINS




I sat there in the theater and watched a dad sink lower and lower in his seat as his young boys were treated to jokes about "popped cherries" and "pussy-@$$ decepticons."
I can only imagine the conversation on the way home was interesting as little Timmy wondered why those brownies made Sam's mommy go nuts.


I can see myself fast forwarding past the horrible parts when I get the DVD, because there's a really good movie in there somewhere... I just don't want to pay 10 bucks to see Johnny Knoxville's Transformers.

Black Ox Has Mad Skills

Check this out:



This was made by Patrick Boivin using a Revoltech Black Ox figure (a figure I soon hope to have in my grubby mitts thanks to the most excellent Skelet0r from 4chan's /toy/ board-- Thanks again, man!)

You really should check out Mr. Boivin's other excellent stop-motion animation short films on his YouTube account. His is a truly special talent!

A Tale of Two Zillas

So today I did the flea market thing. It was much hotter than it needed to be. I'm totally serious. It could have easily been about 30 degrees colder.

I grabbed an old vhs copy of two Pete and Pete episodes. Gosh, but I miss that show. I was amazed at how quickly it sucked me right back into the fun and weirdness. Nickelodeon was really pumping out some good stuff in the early 90's. The only thing worth watching on there nowadays is Spongebob, and that's hardly ever new (which is OK for me seeing as I only recently started watching it and needed to catch up). My P&P tape came with a tattoo of Petunia.



If you don't know what I'm talking about, you really need to go hunt down a P&P tape or dvd... trust me.

I bought some DVD's as well... there's a guy who sells DVD's for 3 bucks or 4 for 10 bucks. They're used, but they are always in fabulous condition. I check anyways, because if anyone ever has a problem with you checking the quality of their used merch, DON'T BUY IT FROM THEM.

I grabbed Stand By Me, American Psycho, Sin City, and Godzilla. Yes... that Godzilla. The Dean Devlin, Roland Emerich version. Why would I buy that? Until today I honestly couldn't tell you why. I have been wanting to own it for some time now, but did not want to pay for it. I guess $2.50 is a reasonable compromise.

vs

After watching it again I have to say that it does wonders for anyone who loves the traditional "man-in-rubber-suit" style of Godzilla movies. Devlin and Emerich threw millions of dollars of Hollywood cash at this colossal crap pile of a movie and it still can't compete with the old-school Godzilla flicks. Were the old ones cheesy? Heck yes they were! Were they fun? You bet your butt they were! Did they spawn sequels? How 'bout over 25?!?!? That's something America's Crapzilla can't say. Well... actually it can't say any of the above.

Crapzilla is a long, sappy, preachy, and just really... bad. The special effects were kinda neat. The monster looks pretty cool, but he's no Godzilla. If this movie had been called IGUANDOR or REPTILLIDOR or something else, I'd be all over it... but it's just two jerks with a lot of money and no taste making a rip-off of a franchise that's done pretty well over the years. In the "making of" featurette Dean Devlin says his first step in approaching Godzilla was to completely change everything about the character.

Yeah... smooth move, Ex-Lax.

Here's what Japan had to say about the American Godzilla:

Stuff and something unexpected

Someone asked me why I haven't put any updates up with artwork... well... a few things I'm working on are top-secret kinda things, so it wouldn't be fair to show them until the people who commissioned them wanted them revealed. Just be patient, and there will be a payoff.

In the meantime, here's something I found yesterday, and it has made my day. Someone leaked a chunk of the new Transformers movie with the character that I was full-well set to hate from the pics of his character design alone-- Wheelie. Sigh... Wheelie. Ugh. Then I saw a leaked bit with german dubbing (I'll have to admit... this character works MUCH better with a saucy German accent, but this is ok too). The attitude of the character REALLY sold him for me. Wheelie was always a survivalist, and making this tiny, scrappy, bombastic, overcompensating jackass REALLY works here for me. WARNING: He says some spicy things here, so parental guidance is suggested:



If the voice sounds familiar, it should. It's Tom Kenny. Yes... THAT Tom Kenny. The voice of Spongebob Squarepants. This has, to say the least, made my day.

Now I want a toy of him.

Cheapo Toy Review: Hasbro Incredible Hulk Movie Figure

Another toy review? Why not? I don't think it will be a regular thing, but who knows? I guess I'll just review things as I see fit-- when it strikes my fancy, if you will. I'm going to review less expensive items that I get at cut-rate prices mostly. Clearance aisles are your friends, good people.

Today's review? Hasbro's Incredible Hulk Movie basic figure. He's the one with no action feature gimmicks and a big, orange, crappy-looking, metal girder.



Stats

Toy Line: The Incredible Hulk: The Movie
Figure: Hulk with Steel Beam Weapon
Producer: Hasbro
Action Feature: None
Height: 6 inches
Retail Price: $10.00
Cheapo Price: $3.00

Review
Sculpt:

Well, I have to admit that the first, oh... 2,000 times I saw this guy on the shelf for 10 bucks I could not justify getting him. When I saw him for 3 bucks at Walmart on the clearance aisle, he suddenly started looking a LOT better. The sculpt is pretty basic at first glance. It seems like the standard Hulk action figure... then you start posing him and realize that his sculpt is very dynamic and that his face is very expressive. He has quite a bit of fine detail on his skin and greater detail on the pants and the hair. He has veins popping out everywhere, and matches the look of the movie Hulk in this regard. His hands are the standard "punch 'n' grab" combo. It works quite well here. It's interesting to note that, unlike other Hulk figures, this figure has fully sculpted soles on his feet, so he looks pretty realistic when being posed jumping.




Paint:

Well... the eyes were an issue. I wish I had taken some pictures of the figure before I touched up the paint on the eyes. He kinda had a Marty Feldman thing going on there. One eye was looking East and one was looking West. That was his biggest crime in the paint department. A dab or two of white, black, and green paint fixed that right up, so it's not the end of the world. His body and face have a dark brown wash to make him look like he's been wrestling in poop, I guess. I don't recall that scene from the movie. That said, there were a LOT of deleted scenes, so maybe it happened in one of those. The wash is kinda bad on some of the figures I've seen on the shelves, so I picked the best one I could find. Mine actually doesn't look that bad. I think it goes a long way toward bringing out the details.



Articulation:

This guy has a buttload of pretty nice joints. They aren't old-school Marvel Legends style joints, but I don't really care for them all that much anyways. I'm a fan of injection molded joints, so I'm quite happy here, as Hulk has around 12 injection molded ball joints throughout the figure. He has around 30 points of articulation altogether. Some of the joints are restricted by his bulkiness, but he has enough useable articulation collectively in each limb that you can get some really great poses out of him. Some folks have had a big problem with his knee and ankle joints because the discs used in them are cast in blue plastic. To those people I say, "Grow up." It's really not all that distracting, and who really cares? If you want a really pretty toy that isn't all that fun to pose and goof around with, go buy a Marvel Select Hulk figure (although that latest one looks REALLY nice and is quite poseable!)

Accessories:

Gah... he has a crappy, soft, plastic, orange girder that splits into two parts. It serves no purpose (unless you want to pretend it's a giant piece of bacon, and the Hulk is hungry) and will go into my junk box along with all the other accessories for which I have no use. That is all.



Scale:

This is the MAIN reason I wanted this Hulk. I want to collect some of the Marvel Universe figures (yeah... the ones that no one around here can find... sheesh!), and I absolutely loathe the Hulk that comes in that line. That thing is one of the worst action figures I have ever seen. I know that Hulk is described in the Marvel Universe Handbook as being 7 feet tall, but really... have you ever seen an actual Hulk comic book? If that guy's 7 feet tall then I'm the Queen of France. He's more like 9 feet tall... or more. Sure... the Marvel Universe Hulk looks like he's around 7 feet tall, but he also looks like he's the product of multiple generations of inbreeding. This movie Hulk stands pretty freaking tall, and is scaled to work with 1:18 scale action figures. Just look at him hamming it up with Snake Eyes there. Pheyden's his little alien buddy too. But my point is that he looks absolutely stunning with 1:18 scale figures.



Well... I don't know what else I could say about the guy. He's pretty sweet looking, and if you can still find him on clearance, he's well worth the price. Heck... knowing what I know now, I probably would have picked him up for 10 bucks!