Winner of the most tasteless toy award is this dog chew toy that is more bizarre than it needs to be. I just HAD to buy it.
I mean... what? I understand that this is supposed to be a pack of cigarettes, Camels specifically... but did you have to really rub in the horror with the word "COMA" emblazoned on the front there? Yeah... that's going to make Spot's play sessions all the more creepy. Nom, nom, nom, com, coma, coma, coma, CIGARETTES KILL! CIGARETTES KILL! CIGARETTES KILL!
CURSE YOU COMA CAMEL!!! CURSE YOU AND YOUR SUAVE DISPOSITION AND SMOOTH, LASTING FLAVOR !
Next up is this mess.
It's one of the figures from that horrible live action Dragon Ball Evolution movie that I watched about 3 minutes of before projectile vomiting my last three meals at once. This guy is called Fulum, and I have no idea what the heck he's supposed to be. Anyway, I liked the way his armored body looked and figured it would make a nice custom. For 3 bucks, I figured I couldn't go wrong.
He's not a bad figure at all really. He's not super articulated, but he's pretty good. I miss the bicep swivel and/or a waist joint, but he does OK. He takes a pose pretty well, and he's a pretty sturdy figure. He is nicely painted and has a light wash, which looks pretty darn good. The sculpt is a little soft, but it's typical for Bandai's kiddy toy lines... so bizarre thinking that way, because Bandai is the company that has made so many kick-butt vinyl Kaiju figures over the years.
He comes with a big, rubbery sword that I'll probably throw in a box and forget about. He has one of the Dragon Balls and a stand for it as well. I don't care.
One of the gimmicks of the line is that each figure comes with a part of a bigger figure called an "Oozaru." OK.
I started to buy all the figures to make the big figure, because I think he looks kinda nifty, but after seeing how this thing was made, I'm glad I didn't. It's a barely articulated statue without a back so that you can stand the Goku figure up inside of it.
Right. If they had gone the extra mile and filled in the back part of the figure components I would be blazing a trail back to the store in the morning to get the rest. As is... I'm stuck with a naked blue monkey leg. If anyone reading this needs the leg to complete the figure (or wants it or the Dragon Ball accessory) just let me know, and I'll send 'em to you.
I bought this guy for a custom, but there's a deeper, darker reason why I bought this thing... I can't quite put my finger on it, but this thing seems familiar to me...
OH NO!!! WHAT ARE THEY SELLING OUR CHILDREN??????
...ahem...
Now here is the crowning achievement of my trip today... I had wanted one of these bad boys when they came out, but I'm a cheap monster and could not stomach the idea of parting with 28 bucks to get it. I'm usually right about my hunches-- it pays to be a cheapskate.
Look at the size of that box! It practically dwarves 3 inch tall Pheyden there!
Open the box, and BLAMMO! It's really, really tiny. I expected that I'd have to put the thing together, but... no... it was completely assembled with a massive amount of empty space around it inside the box. My reaction was literally like, "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA?"
But once I started messing around with the ship I grew to love the darn thing. It looks FANTASTIC. The stand is perfect, and it has a ball and socket joint so that you can pose it just about any way you want.
I'm not usually much of a "lights n sounds toys" kinda guy. To be honest, I hate the things with a passion. But this one is full of awesomesauce and win. When it says on the package that it lights up they were doing some of the most honest advertising in the history of advertising. This sucker flashes, blinks, and strobes with sounds that would deafen a rock. It uses real dialogue from the movie with lines spoken by Chris Pines and Zachary Quinto (Kirk and Spock). Kirk says, "Maneuvering thrusters, Mr. Sulu." and the impulse engines light up. He also says, "Arm phasers! Fire everything we've got!" and the phasers light up and make phaser sounds. Spock says, "Captain, Engineering reports 'Ready for launch.'" and the engines light up and it makes the warp jump sound. The final sound is, beyond a shadow of a doubt, the best ever. It makes 3 emergency tones and the nacelles light up with a strobe effect. When I did it the first time I squealed like a kitten in a blender. Pure geek happiness!!!
So... was this thing worth 28 bucks? Heck no!
Was it worth the 10 I paid for it? Heck yes!
If you can find this beauty on clearance for that price, GO FOR IT! I promise you you'll be flying this sucker around and whooshing and PEW PEW PEWing like a madman in no time!
I guess it was a pretty good day in clearance land!
SHHHHHHLLLLLRRRRRPPPPP!!!!!
RAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!
SHHHHHHLLLLLRRRRRPPPPP!!!!!
