Mega Monster Madness

So, everyone pretty much knows I'm a Japanese monster junkie. I love Godzilla and all his kin-- but I'm finding more and more that I like Ultraman more than almost anything else. I've only ever seen the first series of Ultraman-- I watched it in reruns as a kid, and I bought the recent release of the series on DVD from Mill Creek Entertainment (you should definitely go pick this up... it is a steal at $9 from Wal-Mart or $9.49 from Overstock.com). There have been about a bazillion Ultraman series since the original, but each one tries its best to stay in continuity-- there are flubs here and there, but what over 40 year old franchise doesn't have a few glitches? I am only recently learning the history of the series and about the many heroes and monsters that have popped up over the years. I make mention of this for a very specific reason.

I just saw the most EPIC Ultraman movie ever made.



This is Daikaijū Batoru Urutora Ginga Densetsu Za Mūbī

Which translates to Mega Monster Battle: Ultra Galaxy Legend The Movie. Try saying that fast ten times.

My first exposure to this film was when my good friend Spencer told me about a rather interesting Ultraman character by the name of "Belial." I had heard the name Belial before, in reference to a demon in the Bible-- he's supposed to be one of the princes of Hell. When I heard there was an Ultraman monster named after a prince of Hell, I was kinda freaked out! I had to find out more about this thing! Spencer tipped me off to this YouTube video trailer of the movie:



Needless to say, after seeing that trailer I HAD to track down a copy of the movie. Doing so wasn't easy, because it hadn't had a wide release at the time we were yacking about it, so i kind of put it on the back burner for a long, long time.

And then, just last week I found it. Bandai Visual released the movie with English subtitles, so i could finally see this crazy movie so many people on the internet were gushing about.

What did I think of it? Well, let's see...


The plot's pretty simple: When an evil exiled Ultraman named Belial returns for his vengeance against the society that cast him out, there's hell to pay. Belial takes the artificial sun that gives the Ultramen their power, and only the combined efforts of a few remaining Ultras, a plucky bunch of humans, and another exiled Ultraman can prevent Belial from ruling the universe with his army of 100 giant monsters.

Sounds kinda fun? Well it is a BUTTLOAD of fun... with some conditions.

1. You must understand that Japanese sci-fi movies are budgeted far below even the average Hollywood action movie. This means that special effects are usually done on a comparative shoestring, and studios often use cheaper CGI stuff that doesn't look as sophisticated as the stuff most American audiences are used to seeing. That said, what they did with what they had was pretty darn great. One thing I love about Japanese movies is the enthusiasm they have for just going out and making a darn movie. "We don't have the budget to make a mechanical dinosaur monster that is 30 feet tall and breathes flames." "No problem! We'll just spray paint some trash bags green and slap them on Dan from accounting! The kids will love it!" You gotta love that can-do spirit!

2. This movie is ALL OVER THE PLACE. If you're one of those unlucky saps who can't keep up with a movie that flips from location to location rapidly, this movie is definitely not for you.

3. This movie is ALL OVER THE PLACE. No, I'm not repeating myself... in this instance I'm referring to the plot. It doesn't go into a lot of back story initially, so you kind of have to roll with the punches for a while. Eventually they give you a crasher course in all things Ultra, but sometimes it's really easy to get lost. It helps to know a bit about the Ultraman universe before you watch the movie, because there are literally a billion Ultramen in this movie. Seriously. There are even Ultra chicks in this movie. And Ultra children. If I'm lying, I'm dying. And because they all pretty much look like the same guy, it's REALLY hard to keep up with who is being beaten to death by Belial at any given moment. (And yes... I know that you, just like me, will look in EVERY scene to see if the original Ultraman is in there.) It helps to go online and do a bit of research as to who everyone is. It's not necessary to the enjoyment of the movie, but when you start griping to me about not being able to tell one guy from the other, don't say I didn't warn you.

4. Japanese actors are REALLY enthusiastic. This is one of those things you either love or hate. I love it-- I would seriously hug anyone who worked on this movie, because they looked like it was about the most fun thing in the world to do besides farting in the bathtub. I know you do it. No need to lie about it... sinner.

5. Japanese movies are more about themes than the details. This pretty much means that if you watch a Japanese movie and get the main idea behind it, you had a successful viewing experience. If you sat there and tried to figure out every little detail and tried to figure out the science behind this and that, you have just achieved epic fail. It's like trying to watch Alvin and the Chipmunks and then write a thesis on the adverse effects of cinnamon on the livers of Chipmunks. Translated: Japanese movies are really weird and kinda goofy, and you'll get nowhere trying to figure out all the quirky stuff. Get used to it.

OK... so.. was the movie good? YES. The movie made me feel like I was 5 years old again. It's not a particularly original or deep story, but it's done really well for what it is. Like I said before, the CGI is not great CGI (there are shots of spaceships and stuff that look like bits from video games), but they never really try to pretend that it is... it's just another way they have of telling a larger than life story. Once you get into the movie it's really not distracting, because you start digging the heroes right away. If you have a beef with moral absolutes, this movie isn't going to be your bag, because the Ultraman code is all about right and wrong. But in that service to justice, these big guys are willing to give their all. The movie deals with themes of honor, justice, sacrifice, respect, family, and redemption. I really didn't expect that going in, after having read several reviews online. Most people get hung up on the fact that the movie is 90 minutes long and has a lot of fighting. Well, duh, Sherlock... it's a freaking Ultraman movie. Ultraman fights monsters... it's his day job and his part time job he keeps on the side. Did people honestly expect a 2 hour rom-com with Ultraman trying to woo Jennifer Love Hewitt while simultaneously trying to impress his boss at his new office job? (admittedly, this is a movie I'd probably watch).

Yes, the movie is a long, relentless battle, but that's kind of the point. The Ultras live to protect the innocent. They'll die doing that. They don't care who it is they are protecting either, as long as they are unable to defend themselves. When you take up the job as the defender of the universe, you never get a vacation. Heck... you don't even rate a staycation.

There's an underlying theme in the movie about the allure of absolute power. I really like how they deal with the fact that the actual power itself isn't the corrupting part... it's the willingness to disobey everything one knows to be good and true to obtain it. It implies that the problem was with the seeker in the first place as opposed to the sought after item. The power in this case has the potential to be extremely positive-- it is just the decision of the user as to which ends he will use it.

Nothing in the movie really seems like a throw away item... all the parts make sense to the story, and even the humans, who normally make monster movie fans groan, play a significant and welcome role in the film. They are our ticket to understanding what the heck is going on. When the main human character stands there slack jawed like we are when we watch the movie, you can bet there's about to be a helping portion of exposition. But it's always right at the time you need it... it never becomes annoying or unwanted. That's a tough feat to pull off.

There are some things that don't really make sense timing-wise and a few things that happen way too conveniently, but anymore that's the norm in movies. I'm not saying it's a good thing... it's just there. I'm sure someone could explain to me why a certain character pops up EXACTLY when he's needed in one particular scene, but I know that person would be pulling the explanation right out of his butt. It's just one of those things, I guess.

Would I recommend this movie? Not to certain people. If you're looking for an Oscar-worthy film, I'd tell you not to watch it. If you are looking for a kick-butt, sci-fi action movie that has lots of cool looking good-guys, crazy looking bad-guys, some of the most insane martial arts wire-work you've ever seen, and a really good moral -- then YES. I couldn't recommend it any higher.

You know... a twisted, freakish lump in my brain kinda wishes that a big Hollywood studio would take the Ultraman franchise and make a really nicely-crafted special effects masterpiece, but the rest of my brain went on a bloody rampage and killed that malignant pustule for having a really bad idea. Hollywood would suck the very life from Ultraman and spit out a shiny, polished, industrial-strength turd of a movie starring Ryan Reynolds as the wise-cracking, foul-mouthed Ultraman, who, of course, looks like Ryan Reynolds with a silver CGI costume.

You laugh... that's exactly what it would look like.

Give me my goofy old Ultraman any day of the week!

Best part of the movie? When Hayata (played by Susumu Kurobe, the actor who played him in the original Ultraman series) lifts the Beta Capsule into the air and the Ultraman theme music plays for a brief few seconds. I was literally squealing with geek joy.




You know... it really doesn't take much to keep me happy does it?

Cool Beans.

Just because I felt like it, here's one of my favorite scenes from Hot Rod, one of the best movies ever made:

PREDATORS!!!

Well... I just pooped my pants. Check this out... I had NO idea this was even in the works. I guess it shows how out of touch I have been with Hollywood lately:

======================

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/herocomplex/2010/03/predators.html

Hero Complex
For your inner fanboy

'Predators' on the loose in Texas -- the hunt is back on
March 13, 2010



It's a big weekend for "Predators," the promising Fox film that began the ramp-up to its July 7 release with a sneak peek at South by Southwest in Austin. I just got off the phone with the film's director, Nimród Antal, and he seemed to be pulsing with enthusiasm.

"This is gasoline," the filmmaker said using an appropriately petroleum-based description for the film's building buzz at the Lone Star State gathering."We're very excited."

Antal is coming off the 2009 film "Armored" which did not go over well with critics although more than a few pointed out the filmmaker's flair in the ultimately disappointing heist movie. If the L.A. native needed a mentor, he's certainly got one with this revival of the well-known sci-fi franchise; "Predators" is a product of Robert Rodriguez's Troublemaker Studios in Texas and Rodriguez came up with the story. Antal said the property and the producer made this a dream gig for him.

"I grew up with 'Predator,' I loved it, I had the poster on my wall and it was a big thing for me," he said. "And working with Robert was amazing, he was unlike any other producer I've ever worked with. It was intimidating at first but it was a gift as the work went on. He knows when to leave a filmmaker alone and when to help, it was great for me."

The first "Predator" film, released in 1987, was directed by John McTiernan (who would go on to "Die Hard" and "The Hunt for Red October") off a script by Jim and John Thomas. It starred not only Arnold Schwarzenegger and Carl Weathers but also the signature work of creature-creator Stan Winston and his team. The plot: An elite commando team goes into the jungles of Central America to rescue some kidnapped airmen but find they are the prey of an alien creature with advanced technology who has come to Earth on an interstellar hunting safari.

The movie is one of the best-regarded sci-fi action films of its decade and its alien hunter proved so popular that he and his kind popped up in three more films ("Predator 2" in 1990, "AVP: Alien vs. Predator" in 2004 and "AVPR: Aliens vs Predator -- Requiem" in 2007) as well as in comics, video games and toys.

"Why was that first movie so special? If I could answer that I would bottle it up and sell it," Antal said. "There were so many elements that came together. It was like a really good band playing together. If one person is off, it doesn't work but when everybody is on, it's just magic. It was excellent film making by McTiernan, you had Arnold, the score, Stan Winston, the script. It was magic."

The sequels, well, they weren't nearly as special and Antal said the reason was "bad choices" when it came to tone. "The later movies lost the tension and the suspense of the hunt. They whole building the stress up during the hunt and the big reveal of the alien was lost as the movies went along. You see more and more of the alien and get less and less of the mood and tension."





(SPOILER ALERT: THE NEXT PARAGRAPH HAS PLOT INFORMATION ABOUT THE NEW FILM)

The new film wipes much of the slate clean and, in narrative, goes back to a point not long after the events of the first film. The aliens, surprised to find that one of theirs has been killed on Earth, want to study humans in a controlled environment and so they pluck killers of different sorts (convicts, organized-crime killers, mercenaries, etc) from around the globe and take them to a preserve environment where a new hunt begins. The film stars Adrian Brody, Topher Grace, Lawrence Fishburne and Alice Braga as the confused humans who are suspicious of one another and not exactly team players. More than that, they find that there may be a serial killer in their own ranks as they tramp through the underbrush one step ahead of their high-tech hunters.

"They are all predators in their own right and they are at each others throats," Antal said. "We're expanding the mythology but we're also making a stand-alone film. And, I hope this doesn't sound arrogant, but when it comes to imagery that not one of the previous can come close to. I'm very proud of the way the film looks."

Those are big words from Antal and fans will take them seriously and deliver their own verdict. Welcome to the jungle, Mr. Antal, the hunt is on. . .

— Geoff Boucher

======================

WOW.

I looked up the director, Nimród Antal. It seems this is his 4th film; he directed Kontroll (2003 Hungary), Vacancy (2007 USA), Armored (2009 USA), and now this one. I haven't seen any of his other films, but his first movie, Kontrol, was showered with awards. Predators is produced by Robert Rodriguez, so someone with serious cash and cajones is backing it. The premise is nice and creepy-- I guess time will tell. Every time lately I've gotten excited about a movie I've been let down BIG time. Hopefully this one won't do the same.

It's about darn time the big hunters were back on the screen as a serious threat-- Predator is one of my all-time favorite movies...EVAR. I like the direction they're taking with this one... let's hope it kicks serious butt!

Movie Night

Well, I had a movie night last night. After i got home from the big family Christmas get-together I put on two of the movies I received: Terminator: Salvation and Star Trek. Here are my thoughts on these films:

Terminator: Salvation

Not the best movie I have ever seen and not the worst by far. Some die-hard Terminator fans would have you believe the movie was worse than having a root canal performed by an elephant. It actually does a pretty good job taking the Terminator franchise out of the "let's run from disguised robots" theme and putting it squarely into the future war scenes we all liked in the original films. I've heard a lot of complaints that this movie doesn't match the look of the future war scenes in the older films, and these complaints are correct-- but this movie is set in the earlier days of the war with the machines and the machines haven't stepped up their game yet. There were some pretty good performances in the movie, and it seemed everyone took their roles seriously. One stand-out performance surprised me; Anton Yelchin in the role of a very young Kyle Reese really made me smile quite a few times in the film. His voice and mannerisms matched Michael Biehn's pretty darn well. I had heard some bad rumors about the ending of the movie, but I'm pleased to say that the rumors were false-- the ending kinda shocked me, but eventually unfolded in a satisfying (although predictable) manner. I'm glad I own it. Now... when Warner Brothers decides to quit being buttholes and release the extended cut on DVD instead of keeping it a Blu Ray exclusive, I'll be extra impressed with the film.

Star Trek

I wanted to hate this movie. Everything about it rubs me the wrong way. I hate remakes. I hate cocky characters. I hate directors who have little respect for a property they are handling-- but once the movie started I was glued to the screen. It is a spectacle... but it's more than that; it's a really darn good movie. It's a little too convenient at times; certain characters happen to meet up at improbable times way too often in the movie. However, I just looked past that because the movie has the same kind of heart that the original series had. They managed to create a Kirk and Spock that you could actually enjoy (even if you do want to beat the snot out of Spock throughout most of the film). The special effects were top-notch, but they really weren't overdone. The fan-references were pretty nicely done-- not the smack-you-over-the-head-with-it type of references in the Star Wars prequels. This was done pretty subtly, and I imagine people will be finding hidden fan-stuff in this film for some time to come. I'm glad this film came along... it made me eat my own words, but I got to enjoy a really, really good movie in the process.

Ho Ho HOH CRAP! Christmas is almost here!!!

Well, I finished up my latest batch of commissions just in time to get ready for Christmas. I haven't done one bit of shopping, and I'm just getting my ornaments underway. I'm trying to tidy up the place because we have company coming.

IFC again. Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer tonight. Why do I watch these things, again? This one at least had an ending. I saw it coming a mile away, but yeah. Better than the dude staring into a vent. Henry is actually a pretty good movie; disturbing and depressing but ultimately honest and well-done. The movie's pretty low-budget, but the director did a great job with what was available. The scene where Henry is cutting up a body had unbelievably realistic sound effects-- having helped my dad clean countless deer I'm quite familiar with the sounds that go along with the process. I was quite impressed.

The October Toys Forum members seemed quite receptive of my Kawaiiju designs, which is a really good thing. I hope this is going to be a fun project! I had a minor brainstorm as I drove to town to mail packages today... something extra to add to the fun of the Kawaiiju packaging!

Here's the sketch I posted on the forum of ideas I had for possible figurines:

IFC: A movie channel for people who hate movies

I honestly can't figure out why I keep watching IFC (The Independent Film Channel). Every once in a blue moon there's a decent film on there that they accidentally put on the play list, but mostly it's hyper weird stuff that's more artsy than enjoyable. Tonight I saw two movies that left me with a bad taste in my mouth. One was Buddy Boy and the other was The Secretary.

Buddy Boy is about the really strange guy who takes care of his insane, alcoholic mom-- his mom totally looks like the crossbreeding of one of those treasure troll dolls and a leather sofa. The whole time she's slowly driving him batpoop insane he keeps halucinating all this weird crap that isn't really happening-- or maybe it is. Who knows? Then it ends with him looking into a vent. Literally... he looks in the vent and blammo... credits. Oh yeah-- he wears a baby blue "Meat Is Murder" shirt through the whole darn movie. Who is going to take a guy serious when he doesn't even bother to change his shirt. Really!

The Secretary starts off weird and then gets bizarre. It's about Harvey Dent's girlfriend and she cuts herself and she winds up in a nuthouse-- then she works for David Spader and it turns out he's gorilla-crap crazy and he makes her set mouse traps and make coffee and stuff. There's a lot of typographical errors, spanking, a dead worm, and some awkward sex and then he makes her sit in a chair for 3 days during which I assume she pooped in her dress which happens to be the wedding dress she was wearing when she was going to marry the crazy scientist guy from Lost. Then he comes in and takes her home and gives her a bath and we see that Batman's ex has a rockin set on her. It was shocking, I guess. Boobs are boobs.

I find that every time I watch IFC I have to watch something calmingly normal like cockfights or snuff films afterwards. IFC is honestly designed for people who absolutely hate to enjoy movies.

He say you Brade Runnah!

Just finished up a new figure. Rick Deckard from Blade Runner:



Click the pic to see the auction and more pictures.

20 Steps to Improve Star Trek

I have yet to see the Star Trek movie that came out earlier this year. I guess I will when it hits DVD. I was going through some old text files tonight and ran across this conversation I had with Doug on AIM. I figured I'd share it:

Doug: I've got some ideas that'll change the star trek universe forever...

Me: oh?

Me: lemme guess.... better stories?

Doug: #1 How about don't put anything explosive in control panels

Me: ha ha ha ha ha

Doug: #2 Seatbelts

Me: ha ha ha ha

Doug: already, right there we've cut 3/4th of the deaths on the show

Me: #3: NO MORE RED SHIRTS

Doug: #4 If you going to war, wear armor. I know you're really proud of your pajamas and all, but this is the friggin future. You can carry more tech than a pin on you shirt and a fancy calculator

Doug: I mean it's good enough for the klingons right?

Me: #5 it's ok every once in a while for the aliens to not look like people

Doug: but not ok for the budget

Doug: they have to spend like 20 dollars for a make up guy for another hour

Doug: I mean thats crazy

Me: yup

Me: oh look.... i'm clearly an alien... i have a bump on my nose

Doug: #6 You have transporters...theres no need to go runnin the endless halls of your ship when someone isn't suppose to be there

Me: NO CRAP

Doug: #7 Again future, ever hear of automated defenses...I mean they have solid Holograms that can create and shoot guns and lasers, how about use those sometime

Me: #8 it's not necessary to sleep with everyone you meet if you are a captain

Doug: actually, I think that's in the contract

Me: maybe so

Doug: #9 enough with the time travel, we stopped friggin caring when kirk went to fetch whales

Me: #10 whales taste GREAT

Doug: we don't want to watch people in modern times, otherwise we'd be watching WB

Me: ugh

Me: no crap

Me: and NO ONE watches that

Doug: heheh

Doug: nope

Me: #11 MORE GORN

Doug: always

Me: and this time, for god's sake put him under a sun lamp so he can at least move a bit faster

Doug: #12 The Holodek...WILL BREAK

Doug: Historical figures will always turn evil and try to kill you

Me: excuse me... were you suggesting we should break Will Crusher?

Me: because that's a good suggestion

Me: or maybe you were suggesting that in the holodeck Will becomes mutated like the Hulk and breaks things saying "WILL BREAK!"

Me: either way... we're good with that

Doug: #13 You know, evasive manuevers should mean a little more than sitting in place and firing

Doug: #14 Its space, not all the ships you meet will be right side up, also space is in three dimensions, you can go around things

Me: #15 more borg, less ferangi

Doug: #16 We have guided missiles now, so why can't their torpedos do anything other than go in a straight line?

Me: #17 next time you find people frozen in an ancient ship.... LEAVE THEM FROZEN

Doug: #18 Stop naming every planet the same name as the people...humans, from humanlon, from the human home world

Me: ha ha ha

Me: yep

Me: #19 more half-nekkid green chicks

Doug: #20 Would someone for once go outside the ship and give it a new paint job when "repairs are underway?" since when can you fix everything about you car by messing with the radio control panel?

Doug: ok, thats it for me, all that from just having seen one episode.....

I think everyone will agree that Doug and I clearly should have been top choices for the creative team to make a better Trek movie. CLEARLY.

Freddy's back...

Just saw these pics online... thought I'd share:



That's the first official pic from the remake/sequel/whatever Nightmare on Elm Street movie coming out next year.

Freddy's being played by Jackie Earle Haley, a guy who looks suitably creepy for the part:



He's the guy who played Rorschach in The Watchmen. Yeah... that movie sucked and Rorschach sucked even more, but Haley's a pretty darn good actor who can carry creepy quite well.

Here's the poster for the movie:



Looks slick. It's nice to see the look is pretty much dead-on so far. Remakes usually make me gag, but the Friday the 13th remake was enjoyable enough, and hopefully this one will be as well.

Time will tell!

I'm sorry...

... but it just doesn't get any better than this:



Bask in the glory of this... thing...

My Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen Movie Review

I am so torn about this movie. So very, very torn.

At the core of this film is a story that is 100 times better than the first film.

We have high science fiction dealing with the planet destroyer concept and development of the Transformers to a much larger degree than the first go-round. It is Optimus Prime's finest hour and the Autobot's darkest day. It is a tale of responsibility, sacrifice, and redemption.

...and then... there's this:



Yes... that is a tiny robot humping a girl's leg. Yes... that's as sophisticated and subtle as the humor gets in this movie. The crass, inappropriate humor does less to make the audience laugh and does more to take you right out of the movie-going experience.

Unless you are a mouth-breathing cretin you WILL hate the following things:

Sam's mom's pot induced hysteria

the overt sexualization of the female characters (look-- I know they are as hot and/or fake as a flea market rolex, but it really bothers me seeing this in a movie marketed towards kids)

any scene with John Turturro... especially the thong scene... ugh

Pottymouth Metalpants-- I mean Wheelie. He's a character made pretty much for kids to adore and he calls Mikaela a "crazy b***h" and then humps her leg FOR NO GOOD REASON AT ALL.

Sam's roommate Leo. Funny for about 3 minutes... then he got real old, real fast.

Robot Farts

Robot Penis Guns

And finally... two words that really need no explanaition:

THE TWINS




I sat there in the theater and watched a dad sink lower and lower in his seat as his young boys were treated to jokes about "popped cherries" and "pussy-@$$ decepticons."
I can only imagine the conversation on the way home was interesting as little Timmy wondered why those brownies made Sam's mommy go nuts.


I can see myself fast forwarding past the horrible parts when I get the DVD, because there's a really good movie in there somewhere... I just don't want to pay 10 bucks to see Johnny Knoxville's Transformers.

Black Ox Has Mad Skills

Check this out:



This was made by Patrick Boivin using a Revoltech Black Ox figure (a figure I soon hope to have in my grubby mitts thanks to the most excellent Skelet0r from 4chan's /toy/ board-- Thanks again, man!)

You really should check out Mr. Boivin's other excellent stop-motion animation short films on his YouTube account. His is a truly special talent!

A Tale of Two Zillas

So today I did the flea market thing. It was much hotter than it needed to be. I'm totally serious. It could have easily been about 30 degrees colder.

I grabbed an old vhs copy of two Pete and Pete episodes. Gosh, but I miss that show. I was amazed at how quickly it sucked me right back into the fun and weirdness. Nickelodeon was really pumping out some good stuff in the early 90's. The only thing worth watching on there nowadays is Spongebob, and that's hardly ever new (which is OK for me seeing as I only recently started watching it and needed to catch up). My P&P tape came with a tattoo of Petunia.



If you don't know what I'm talking about, you really need to go hunt down a P&P tape or dvd... trust me.

I bought some DVD's as well... there's a guy who sells DVD's for 3 bucks or 4 for 10 bucks. They're used, but they are always in fabulous condition. I check anyways, because if anyone ever has a problem with you checking the quality of their used merch, DON'T BUY IT FROM THEM.

I grabbed Stand By Me, American Psycho, Sin City, and Godzilla. Yes... that Godzilla. The Dean Devlin, Roland Emerich version. Why would I buy that? Until today I honestly couldn't tell you why. I have been wanting to own it for some time now, but did not want to pay for it. I guess $2.50 is a reasonable compromise.

vs

After watching it again I have to say that it does wonders for anyone who loves the traditional "man-in-rubber-suit" style of Godzilla movies. Devlin and Emerich threw millions of dollars of Hollywood cash at this colossal crap pile of a movie and it still can't compete with the old-school Godzilla flicks. Were the old ones cheesy? Heck yes they were! Were they fun? You bet your butt they were! Did they spawn sequels? How 'bout over 25?!?!? That's something America's Crapzilla can't say. Well... actually it can't say any of the above.

Crapzilla is a long, sappy, preachy, and just really... bad. The special effects were kinda neat. The monster looks pretty cool, but he's no Godzilla. If this movie had been called IGUANDOR or REPTILLIDOR or something else, I'd be all over it... but it's just two jerks with a lot of money and no taste making a rip-off of a franchise that's done pretty well over the years. In the "making of" featurette Dean Devlin says his first step in approaching Godzilla was to completely change everything about the character.

Yeah... smooth move, Ex-Lax.

Here's what Japan had to say about the American Godzilla:

Stuff and something unexpected

Someone asked me why I haven't put any updates up with artwork... well... a few things I'm working on are top-secret kinda things, so it wouldn't be fair to show them until the people who commissioned them wanted them revealed. Just be patient, and there will be a payoff.

In the meantime, here's something I found yesterday, and it has made my day. Someone leaked a chunk of the new Transformers movie with the character that I was full-well set to hate from the pics of his character design alone-- Wheelie. Sigh... Wheelie. Ugh. Then I saw a leaked bit with german dubbing (I'll have to admit... this character works MUCH better with a saucy German accent, but this is ok too). The attitude of the character REALLY sold him for me. Wheelie was always a survivalist, and making this tiny, scrappy, bombastic, overcompensating jackass REALLY works here for me. WARNING: He says some spicy things here, so parental guidance is suggested:



If the voice sounds familiar, it should. It's Tom Kenny. Yes... THAT Tom Kenny. The voice of Spongebob Squarepants. This has, to say the least, made my day.

Now I want a toy of him.