Doug: I've got some ideas that'll change the star trek universe forever...
Me: oh?
Me: lemme guess.... better stories?
Doug: #1 How about don't put anything explosive in control panels
Me: ha ha ha ha ha
Doug: #2 Seatbelts
Me: ha ha ha ha
Doug: already, right there we've cut 3/4th of the deaths on the show
Me: #3: NO MORE RED SHIRTS
Doug: #4 If you going to war, wear armor. I know you're really proud of your pajamas and all, but this is the friggin future. You can carry more tech than a pin on you shirt and a fancy calculator
Doug: I mean it's good enough for the klingons right?
Me: #5 it's ok every once in a while for the aliens to not look like people
Doug: but not ok for the budget
Doug: they have to spend like 20 dollars for a make up guy for another hour
Doug: I mean thats crazy
Me: yup
Me: oh look.... i'm clearly an alien... i have a bump on my nose
Doug: #6 You have transporters...theres no need to go runnin the endless halls of your ship when someone isn't suppose to be there
Me: NO CRAP
Doug: #7 Again future, ever hear of automated defenses...I mean they have solid Holograms that can create and shoot guns and lasers, how about use those sometime
Me: #8 it's not necessary to sleep with everyone you meet if you are a captain
Doug: actually, I think that's in the contract
Me: maybe so
Doug: #9 enough with the time travel, we stopped friggin caring when kirk went to fetch whales
Me: #10 whales taste GREAT
Doug: we don't want to watch people in modern times, otherwise we'd be watching WB
Me: ugh
Me: no crap
Me: and NO ONE watches that
Doug: heheh
Doug: nope
Me: #11 MORE GORN
Doug: always
Me: and this time, for god's sake put him under a sun lamp so he can at least move a bit faster
Doug: #12 The Holodek...WILL BREAK
Doug: Historical figures will always turn evil and try to kill you
Me: excuse me... were you suggesting we should break Will Crusher?
Me: because that's a good suggestion
Me: or maybe you were suggesting that in the holodeck Will becomes mutated like the Hulk and breaks things saying "WILL BREAK!"
Me: either way... we're good with that
Doug: #13 You know, evasive manuevers should mean a little more than sitting in place and firing
Doug: #14 Its space, not all the ships you meet will be right side up, also space is in three dimensions, you can go around things
Me: #15 more borg, less ferangi
Doug: #16 We have guided missiles now, so why can't their torpedos do anything other than go in a straight line?
Me: #17 next time you find people frozen in an ancient ship.... LEAVE THEM FROZEN
Doug: #18 Stop naming every planet the same name as the people...humans, from humanlon, from the human home world
Me: ha ha ha
Me: yep
Me: #19 more half-nekkid green chicks
Doug: #20 Would someone for once go outside the ship and give it a new paint job when "repairs are underway?" since when can you fix everything about you car by messing with the radio control panel?
Doug: ok, thats it for me, all that from just having seen one episode.....
I think everyone will agree that Doug and I clearly should have been top choices for the creative team to make a better Trek movie. CLEARLY.
No comments:
Post a Comment