Clearing OUT!

I just got back from a trip to Columbia. I was house and puppy sitting for my brother. On the way home I stopped by a few places and picked up a few things.

Of course they were cheap... you all know me!!!

You may recall this Skull King figure I got when I was in Georgia...



Now... watch my monster GLOOOOOOWWWWW!!!!



How did I do this? I stuffed him with glow in the dark Airsoft pellets.



You can get a big bottle of 5,000 of them for 10 bucks at Walmart. I still have over a third of the bottle left. I wonder what I'll use them for.... mwaaaa haa haa haa!!!!!



I have so far resisted buying any of the Transformers RPM (Robot Powered Machines) toys from Hasbro. For one, they're really not that impressive. Second, they cost too much. Are they worth 3 bucks? No. Are they worth 2 bucks? Nah. One? Yeah!



I stopped at a Dollar Tree on the way home and snagged this Optimus for a buck.



They're basically Hot Wheels style vehicles of the Transformers movie characters.



On the bottom of each one there's a sculpted representation of the robot form. See Optimus looking at you from the bottom of the truck?



They had a TON of these suckers. The characters were Optimus, Bumblebee, Ironhide, Ratchet, Sideswipe, Jolt, Megatron, Long Haul, Mix Master, and Sideways. If you dig 'em hit up your local Dollar Tree... you might get lucky! I already have a nice die-cast Optimus Prime vehicle, so I'll keep mine in the package... it's a swell looking package!

I grabbed a couple of civilian clothes Wolverine figures from the Walmart next door for $2.50 each to use for customs. They're really nice bases for regular dudes.

I was getting ready to head out on the long trip home when I heard a little voice in my head say "Go to K-Mart." K-Mart isn't exactly on the way home, but I decided to go anyway. Boy... I am so glad I listened to the little voice!

They were having a HUGE clearance sale. I don't know if this is a nationwide thing or not, but this one had all their regular clearance prices slashed in half! I grabbed some stuff I would never have paid full price for.

Here's the recent Mighty Morphin Power Rangers Goldar figure I had wanted when I first heard about it but changed my mind as soon as I saw it. It's a horrible, horrible toy if you pay 6 or 7 bucks for it. But when you pay the $2.50 I did... well... it's still a crappy toy, but it's a little bit easier to justify owning it.



See those shoulder pads and that skirt there? They're solid, hard, ABS plastic. That basically means that the ball jointed shoulders and hips are pretty much frozen in place. Sheesh! On top of that, he has no knees or elbows. He's pretty much a statue... a really static, neutrally posed statue.



The sculpt is not totally bad with some nice little details here and there, but this guy is still a horrible, horrible toy. I mainly bought it because it was Goldar.



See how good he looks with the other Goldars I own? OK, so he still looks bad, but I'm glad I found him!



Another toy I'd never buy at full price: The Wolverine Stasis Chamber.



It's basically the big glass box they used to put the metal in Wolverine's body. Right. More custom fodder. I dunno how much this thing cost originally, but it's freakin huge.



It has a wheel on the side that you turn, and Wolvie smashes the glass out. Sure. It's going to be dismantled and used for custom projects. It cost me $2.50. Yay, K-Mart!!!



Here are the other Wolverines with the derpy looking Wolverine that came in the stasis set. He has a nicely sculpted body... I might make a small He-Man with that body.



I'm not really a Pokemon fan-- I never have been. I find the show to be annoying and the cards to be vomit-inducing. What I do like, however, are some of the character designs. Let's face it... some Pokemon are just darn cute.

I picked this little guy up.



His name is Mantyke, and he is A-FREAKIN-DORABLE.



His retail price was 6 bucks. I paid 99 cents for him. Booyah.



I love how he has the option to display him on his big stupid water base or on a smaller transparent one. He was well worth the price. I dunno about 6 bucks, but 99 cents? Oh yeah, baby.



And then there's this guy:



I have been looking for a decently priced Optimus Prime Mighty Mugg since before they ever hit stores. I never was crazy about paying 10 and 12 bucks for these things, but seeing how hard it is to track down a regular Prime I would have been quite happy paying full price for him. When I saw him in the clearance section I literally yelped. There was a lady at the end of the aisle with her daughter-- she grabbed her by the hand and pulled her out of there faster than I have ever seen a human being move. I ran over to the price checker and this is what I saw on the screen "CHECK SHELF TAG FOR PRICING INFORMATION." Whaaaaaa? I hunted down someone in toys for some help but I couldn't find a soul (go K-Mart!). I brought the little guy up to the service desk and asked the lady to check the price-- I wanted it, but I'm cheap... sue me (don't! I don't have the funds!). She had to go find a manager who wouldn't answer the calls to the service desk (go K-Mart!), and told me that if I wanted to keep shopping she'd keep the figure at the desk until the manager surfaced. I went back and grabbed a few more things that I can't show here (Ooooo! Secrets!!!) and made my way up to the desk a few minutes later. I asked the lady how much it was, and she said the manager had priced it at 5 bucks. I almost yelped again, but kept it down this time. The best part of this whole deal? When she scanned it it automatically applied the clearance discount... that's right: I got it for $2.50 (YAY K-MART!!!)!

Looks nice standing there in my Optimus Prime collection, huh?



Yeahyuh!

I love deals.

The moral of this story? Keep your eyes open right now... there's a lotta clearing going on!

Dollars Don't Grow on the Dollar Tree...

Ahhhhhhh... Dollar Tree. How wonderful you are to cheapskates everywhere. You provide crappy products for just a dollar each. How I love thee.

So I decided to pick up another bag of those monochrome public servants-- this time firemen.



As you can see, it's the same deal as the policemen: four 5 inch tall unpainted action figures with limited articulation and, this time, an accessory for each figure all packed in a baggie with a header card.



I dunno if it's just me or not, but these guys are a bit cooler looking than the cops. Maybe I just like red more than I like blue. Who knows?



This is Chief Hardedge. His features are chiseled from stone, and his attitude is even craggier.



Is that an axe in his hand? OH YEAH.



This is Lieutenant Ropewrap. He's good at... well... sawing things.



His saw... it is EXQUISITE.



This is Firefighter Double-Boom. So named because...



He has two oxygen tanks on his back. His mighty hammer smashes evil fires out of existence!!!



This is Captain Spaceman.



I name him this because he is obviously a space man who got lost and wound up working as a firefighter-- just look at that futuristic space helmet and those spiffy space boots. And I don't even know what to call that thing he is holding in his hand. It has to be some kind of high-tech space ray gun.


While I was at Dollar Tree I decided to grab one of those growing animal toys. Oddly enough I have never had one of these things. That's right: the most immature person on the face of the planet has never owned one of those "grows-in-water" critters. So I had to decide which one to get. This was the hardest decision of my entire life. Did I want a giant elephant or a snake the size of a pickup truck? A school house that I could walk inside of or a starfish big enough to crush Tokyo in a dynamic battle? I saw a whole section with nothing but dinosaurs, and suddenly my choice was clear. I had to have the mightiest beast to ever walk the planet... I needed a life-size T-Rex (the first one of you goons who says that T-Rex wasn't the mightiest gets a box full of my cat's poop mailed overnight express).



Yes.... T-Rex... soon you will grow in your tank of water... you will grow and learn to do my bidding! MWAAA HAAA HAA HAAA!!!!



Eh? What's this? "DO NOT SWALLOW."



Considering the fact that this dinosaur is hard as a rock and about 5 inches long, I seriously doubt anyone is going to be swallowing him any time soon. As a matter of fact, any kid who goes the distance and swallows this thing needs an award for trying that hard to end it all.

These things are supposed to grow up to 600% larger than their original size in water. Anyone who swallows this thing is going to need a C-Section to get that sucker out, because I don't think they're allowed by law to sell a laxative potent enough to move that thing. I'm betting you'll need Lamaze classes before the whole ordeal is through.

Anyway... it says that it takes 96 hours to fully expand, so I think I'm going to keep a photographic record of the growth of my mighty T-Rex. This needs to be documented... National Geographic might want this for future reference.


and now... another installment of...



Who among us hasn't wondered what is inside those grab bags at Dollar Tree? "Sure," you say to yourself, "I could gamble a dollar and find out, but I don't know if I should."

Well, ladies and germs, I have done the unthinkable... I have purchased the most secret and sacred of all Dollar Store items...



THE DOLLAR TREE GRAB BAG (for boys)



Ooooooo... what secrets lie within the confines of this simple paper package?



My first look inside the bag.... what could these mystery items be?????? Let's find out!!!



This has got to be the most disturbing packaging I have ever seen. First of all, what the heck is Animal Soup? Why does it have eyeballs floating in it? Why is that dog eating the leg of a dinosaur? Why are his pupils dilated so? Why does he have a cat's tail?



Hip Designs LTD, huh? Yeah right. Isn't the Rand Corporation an evil company that Iron Man fights or something? If it isn't it should be.



Ah... OK. I get you. The crayons are named after animal attributes... well... in theory. Some of these are clever, but what's with "Popping Out Purple" and "Twisted Green?" How are those related to animals in any way? TRY HARDER HIP DESIGNS LTD!!!



Next up... a Winnie the Pooh Thermos! Nah... I kid... it's just one of those light refractor things that used to come in Cracker Jacks boxes. You know... back when Cracker Jacks had REAL toys in them.



I'd show you what it looks like inside, but I think taking a picture of that would cause the universe to implode or something.



A Mickey Mouse themed baby bottle nipple?



Nah... it's a little spinning top. Luckily I love tops, so this is what those intellectual types refer to as a "silver lining."



And now.... the heaviest part of this whole affair... the reason I grabbed the bag that I grabbed... I was going for broke, so I grabbed the heaviest bag in the joint.



What awaits me in the TUB OF DOOM?!?!?!?!?!?



Wait... that's... well... what IS it?



Uhh... WAT?



It's a rock-hard, mold-encrusted block of dried-out playdough.



I kid you not... my major award was a chunk of hard playdough with fingerprints and Ebola all over it.

I am speechless.



So... what is inside of a Dollar Tree Grab Bag? Disturbing Crayons, Winnie the Pooh brand dimensional portals, Mickey Mouse spinning tops, and the world-famous disease cube.

ENJOY!


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Don't forget about the Brawlin' with Brawlor Contest! The first entry came in my email last night before I went to bed-- how crazy is that??? Crazy good, I tells ya!!! Get to work on your creations, so we can have the bestest MOTU art gallery EVER!!!! Thanks, everyone!