Wednesday, July 1, 2009

My Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen Movie Review

I am so torn about this movie. So very, very torn.

At the core of this film is a story that is 100 times better than the first film.

We have high science fiction dealing with the planet destroyer concept and development of the Transformers to a much larger degree than the first go-round. It is Optimus Prime's finest hour and the Autobot's darkest day. It is a tale of responsibility, sacrifice, and redemption.

...and then... there's this:

Yes... that is a tiny robot humping a girl's leg. Yes... that's as sophisticated and subtle as the humor gets in this movie. The crass, inappropriate humor does less to make the audience laugh and does more to take you right out of the movie-going experience.

Unless you are a mouth-breathing cretin you WILL hate the following things:

Sam's mom's pot induced hysteria

the overt sexualization of the female characters (look-- I know they are as hot and/or fake as a flea market rolex, but it really bothers me seeing this in a movie marketed towards kids)

any scene with John Turturro... especially the thong scene... ugh

Pottymouth Metalpants-- I mean Wheelie. He's a character made pretty much for kids to adore and he calls Mikaela a "crazy b***h" and then humps her leg FOR NO GOOD REASON AT ALL.

Sam's roommate Leo. Funny for about 3 minutes... then he got real old, real fast.

Robot Farts

Robot Penis Guns

And finally... two words that really need no explanaition:


I sat there in the theater and watched a dad sink lower and lower in his seat as his young boys were treated to jokes about "popped cherries" and "pussy-@$$ decepticons."
I can only imagine the conversation on the way home was interesting as little Timmy wondered why those brownies made Sam's mommy go nuts.

I can see myself fast forwarding past the horrible parts when I get the DVD, because there's a really good movie in there somewhere... I just don't want to pay 10 bucks to see Johnny Knoxville's Transformers.

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