Cracker Jokes

So I was in Walmart last night, and I saw something I hadn't seen in stores in ages: Cracker Jacks. I've been looking for Cracker Jacks for quite a while, actually. Everywhere I go the answer is always the same, "We don't carry that anymore." Huh? No Cracker Jacks? That's practically unpatriotic or something!

I used to love Cracker Jacks when I was a kid. The candy was delicious, and the prizes inside were awesome... I had a little plastic glow in the dark spinning thing that would balance on a string... so cool!

When I saw that they had a three pack of Cracker Jacks for 98 cents I was sold. So how have Cracker Jacks held up over the years? Let's take a look with the Hulk!



Same box... kind of. They've jazzed up the image of Sailor Jack and Bingo a bit, but it's immediately recognizable. I'm just shocked someone hasn't found the characters to be offensive or something... everybody gets bent out of shape about everything I liked as a kid, so it's only a matter of time. Maybe the dog is offensive to cats? Or the boy is offensive to girls... there's still time to protest!



One noticeable difference from when I was a kid is the FritoLay logo... evidently the product has changed hands a few times since it first came out. Also of note is the absence of the word "toy." The packages used to say "Toy surprise inside"... now it just says "Prize inside." Hmmmm... this seems ominous.



Something else that wasn't on the package in the old days was the nutrition label. It's nice to have these, so I can see just what kind of damage I'm doing to myself.

So, with the Hulk's assistance we'll just take a look inside:



It's funny because they have the same "push & tear off top" tab on the upper side of the box that has always been there, but...



... the old packages were waxed cardboard with a foil liner... you'd just rip 'em open and the Jacks were right in there... no bag or anything between them and the lined cardboard.



These new Jacks have a little foil lined bag inside to keep 'em fresh and junk.



I might add that the little bags are the dickens to rip into without tearing the bag to shreds... the bag is glued to the inside of the box, so you can't really get a good grip... thanks, FritoLay.



So the real question is: How do they taste?



Not all that great. Maybe it's just that my taste buds have mellowed with age, but these things are bland.



Cracker Jacks used to be one of my favorite sweet treats, but these things seem kinda like packing peanuts covered in watered down caramel.



Ah well... there's always the prize.



It seems really...



Flat.



What the heck?




It's a piece of paper. The prize inside is something you could make with a piece of paper and some markers. It's one of those "fold the paper to see who this really is" kinda stupid things.



YAY! BENJAMIN FRANKLIN!




The prizes in the other packs were similarly unimpressive:



OH BOY! I always wanted an Alexander Hamilton mini kite! YAY!!!!



WHAT THE...



Uhhhh...



It's one of those things that you bend and make the "mouth" move.




Ugh. So yeah... the great toy prizes of yesteryear are long gone. To be fair, you're paying a buck for 3 ounces of bland Cracker Jack and 3 prizes. I guess they pass the savings along to the customer... wait... that doesn't work... nevermind. I guess I now know why so few stores carry the stuff anymore... what kid wants a Alexander Hamilton paper diamond or a surly looking cow paper? If the candy isn't all that great, why even bother?

Hulk has one thing to say about the whole ordeal:



______________________________________
I bet when you read that title up there you were thinking this blog was going to be about something COMPLETELY different!

SBS Glowbon Recipe

As requested, here are some pictures of the SBS Glowbon in plain light. I tweaked the contrast so the pieces would show better.




Here's a list of the parts needed:

1 Gobon primary head
2 Gobon torsos
1 Godon waist disc
4 Gobon arms
4 Gobon legs
2 Gobon feet
2 Buildman backpacks
2 Buildman male/male connectors
3 Buildman ribbed male/female connectors
2 Buildman slotted male/female connectors
6 Gobon Blaster disks
2 Gobon Blaster balls
4 Phase Arm bases
7 Phase Arm nozzles

Hope that helps!

Creeped out Kawaiiju

This picture comes from October Toys Forum member theraker... looks like the other Kaiju creeped out little Krogor here!



Thanks for taking such a cool picture, theraker! If anyone else wants to take cool pics with their Kawaiiju, I'd love to feature them here for everyone to see!

A Glowing Tale...

Poor little Ice Bat is lost in the dark.


Oh! What was that noise?


AGH!!! A robot beast!!!!


What is this new threat?


Why, it's no threat at all! It's the loveable
Glowbon in his super butt-stomping
configuration!


Goodbye, Glowbon! Keep lighting
the way for lost Ice Bats!

Big thanks to Rob for the Ice Bat figure... he makes a very welcome addition to my glow-in-the-dark collection! How cute is that guy????

If you want your own Spectre Glowbon there are a few of them left at Matt Doughty's Onell Design Store... check 'em out and check out all the other fun figures while you're there!

For Neil...

You asked for Transformers? Here ya go, mate:

Kawaiiju start popping up all over!

Big thanks to Rob (smack6102) for posting a video of him opening his Kawaiiju figure!



And this review just popped up on Phil Reed's Battlegrip.com

If anyone sees anything (good OR bad!) about the little goons, feel free to let me know about it! Thanks, everyone!

Renegade

COMA!!!

Went to town today and found some pretty good bargains in the clearance sections of several stores; I thought I'd share them with you.

Winner of the most tasteless toy award is this dog chew toy that is more bizarre than it needs to be. I just HAD to buy it.




I mean... what? I understand that this is supposed to be a pack of cigarettes, Camels specifically... but did you have to really rub in the horror with the word "COMA" emblazoned on the front there? Yeah... that's going to make Spot's play sessions all the more creepy. Nom, nom, nom, com, coma, coma, coma, CIGARETTES KILL! CIGARETTES KILL! CIGARETTES KILL!

CURSE YOU COMA CAMEL!!! CURSE YOU AND YOUR SUAVE DISPOSITION AND SMOOTH, LASTING FLAVOR !

Next up is this mess.



It's one of the figures from that horrible live action Dragon Ball Evolution movie that I watched about 3 minutes of before projectile vomiting my last three meals at once. This guy is called Fulum, and I have no idea what the heck he's supposed to be. Anyway, I liked the way his armored body looked and figured it would make a nice custom. For 3 bucks, I figured I couldn't go wrong.



He's not a bad figure at all really. He's not super articulated, but he's pretty good. I miss the bicep swivel and/or a waist joint, but he does OK. He takes a pose pretty well, and he's a pretty sturdy figure. He is nicely painted and has a light wash, which looks pretty darn good. The sculpt is a little soft, but it's typical for Bandai's kiddy toy lines... so bizarre thinking that way, because Bandai is the company that has made so many kick-butt vinyl Kaiju figures over the years.



He comes with a big, rubbery sword that I'll probably throw in a box and forget about. He has one of the Dragon Balls and a stand for it as well. I don't care.

One of the gimmicks of the line is that each figure comes with a part of a bigger figure called an "Oozaru." OK.



I started to buy all the figures to make the big figure, because I think he looks kinda nifty, but after seeing how this thing was made, I'm glad I didn't. It's a barely articulated statue without a back so that you can stand the Goku figure up inside of it.



Right. If they had gone the extra mile and filled in the back part of the figure components I would be blazing a trail back to the store in the morning to get the rest. As is... I'm stuck with a naked blue monkey leg. If anyone reading this needs the leg to complete the figure (or wants it or the Dragon Ball accessory) just let me know, and I'll send 'em to you.


I bought this guy for a custom, but there's a deeper, darker reason why I bought this thing... I can't quite put my finger on it, but this thing seems familiar to me...







OH NO!!! WHAT ARE THEY SELLING OUR CHILDREN??????

...ahem...

Now here is the crowning achievement of my trip today... I had wanted one of these bad boys when they came out, but I'm a cheap monster and could not stomach the idea of parting with 28 bucks to get it. I'm usually right about my hunches-- it pays to be a cheapskate.



Look at the size of that box! It practically dwarves 3 inch tall Pheyden there!



Open the box, and BLAMMO! It's really, really tiny. I expected that I'd have to put the thing together, but... no... it was completely assembled with a massive amount of empty space around it inside the box. My reaction was literally like, "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA?"



But once I started messing around with the ship I grew to love the darn thing. It looks FANTASTIC. The stand is perfect, and it has a ball and socket joint so that you can pose it just about any way you want.



I'm not usually much of a "lights n sounds toys" kinda guy. To be honest, I hate the things with a passion. But this one is full of awesomesauce and win. When it says on the package that it lights up they were doing some of the most honest advertising in the history of advertising. This sucker flashes, blinks, and strobes with sounds that would deafen a rock. It uses real dialogue from the movie with lines spoken by Chris Pines and Zachary Quinto (Kirk and Spock). Kirk says, "Maneuvering thrusters, Mr. Sulu." and the impulse engines light up. He also says, "Arm phasers! Fire everything we've got!" and the phasers light up and make phaser sounds. Spock says, "Captain, Engineering reports 'Ready for launch.'" and the engines light up and it makes the warp jump sound. The final sound is, beyond a shadow of a doubt, the best ever. It makes 3 emergency tones and the nacelles light up with a strobe effect. When I did it the first time I squealed like a kitten in a blender. Pure geek happiness!!!




So... was this thing worth 28 bucks? Heck no!
Was it worth the 10 I paid for it? Heck yes!
If you can find this beauty on clearance for that price, GO FOR IT! I promise you you'll be flying this sucker around and whooshing and PEW PEW PEWing like a madman in no time!



I guess it was a pretty good day in clearance land!



SHHHHHHLLLLLRRRRRPPPPP!!!!!
RAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!
SHHHHHHLLLLLRRRRRPPPPP!!!!!