Friday, June 4, 2010

Dollar Cops

So yesterday I went up to Columbia to see my nephew graduate... that was an experience. When did graduations become a time for people to make jackasses of themselves in public? It was kind of like sitting in the crowd at a Jerry Springer Show taping only with less exposed boobs. Yes... I said "less."

At any rate, I stopped to shop at a few places. I found something that has inspired me to start a new section of my blog...

I predict that I'll post these spots here quite a bit, as I have this bad habit of buying really, really horrible toys... I compare it to my compulsion to buy really bad movies. It's a curse... what can I say?

So I was in Dollar Tree and grabbed this bag'o'cops. Yeah... 4 cops for a buck. This line of figures is based on things like firemen, police, soldiers, etc. The funny part is that there are ZERO paint apps... you get BLUE policemen, RED firemen, TAN soldiers-- OK... I take back the general statement about paint apps... the soldiers have this horrible paint spray that goes across the figure with no regard toward where clothes end and skin begins. Camouflage has really gone high tech, I guess.

These guys stand about 5 inches tall... yeah, the package says they stand 5.5 inches tall, but THE PACKAGE LIES!!!!!

They're really not the worst of these cheap-o toys I've ever purchased. They're articulated at the neck, shoulders, and hips, so... yeah. They stand pretty well, but a gentle breeze will knock them over, as their feet are not 100% flat. The sculpts on these guys are pretty simple, but they actually have a little character. I have no idea what made me buy these things, but I guess the faces on these goons kind of drew me in. Each one has his own thing going... let's meet them, shall we?

This is Captain Brass. I named him that because he looks a LOT like Brass from CSI, and you can't go wrong with Jim Brass leading your police forces.

Each figure has two big honking screws jammed into his back, and a bunch of crazy holes in each component... I guess it's the pour holes, but I've never seen pour holes like these. I guess it's sweet battle damage!!! YEAH!!!

Captain Brass shows us the extent of articulation these figures have. Yay.

This is Officer Storm Shadow. I guess he's supposed to be some kind of anti-terrorist specialist or something. I don't know why, but this guy makes me think about the images of the IDF soldiers we've seen... maybe I'm crazy.

Here he displays his amazing ability to arrest the ground. Yeah.... the gun is sculpted in his hand, and his arm is permanently bent that way. He looks pretty cool with his gun up, so I won't fault him.

This is Colonel Sam Trautman. He's not really a policeman... they just gave him that body armor when he was helping them look for Rambo again. That crazy Rambo!!! Because Trautman is such a bad dude, he's the only one of these figures to come with a weapon that can be removed. AWESOME!!!!

This is Officer Beatdown. I call him this because he was supposed to have a nightstick, but they failed to put one in the bag... I saw nightsticks in the other bags and thought the one I grabbed would have one, but I was DENIED!!!! Oh well... maybe I can make him one.... with nails in it.



On the good side of things that I found there's this:

OH YEAH, BABY! The entire season 1 collection for only 5 bucks.... I am set. BELIEVE IT OR NOT, I'M WALKING ON AIR!!!

I LOVE the people at Mill Creek Productions... they are the folks who have been releasing these cheapo dvd sets with like 20 and 50 horror, sci-fi, and martial arts movies. Just lately they've been releasing a bit higher quality movies and tv series and they've been keeping the prices lowwwww. I have a LOT of respect for a company that understands that times are hard and that people need a break. Good show, Mill Creek!

No comments: